I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
my phone needs a breathalizer
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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