She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
