NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
