hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
