I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
"it" just moved
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
