he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
