Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
My feet surprised me
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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