Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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