I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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