Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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