My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
