i permit you to call me
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
