make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
