at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
