I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
