i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
