i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
