dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
