I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
She's not a foreskin expert like you
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
My vagina is officially offended.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
