oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Randomize
