"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
