yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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