I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
