i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
