you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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