I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
