i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
