ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
