I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
