Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Naked. naked and bneed help.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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