Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
