Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I love you.
Bad choice
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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