OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
