I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
