he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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