we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Pants are for mortals
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
