no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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