How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You're like the curious george of whores
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
