I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
We have so much sex to catch up on
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
