Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
