I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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