hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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