Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
