the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
