Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
