the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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