Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I currently don't understand fingers.
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