Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
