I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
If I die, sorry about rent.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
