good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
